The Story of a Used to Be Irken
by InvaderMia
Summary: An experiment that was ruined by Zim's energy eating monster comes back to bite Zim in the butt. Slight ZADF near the end . No ZADR. Please don't flame. Read and Review!  Thanks!  :  Rated K plus for some language and also just in case.
1. Prologue

[A/N] Hey guys, I'm writing my first chapter IZ fanfic! I'll try update as often as I can, but it's regents week so this week is kind of out for updating.

I don't own Invader Zim(no matter how badly I wish I did)

Prologue

_100 human years ago_

_Irken Research Facilities on Vort_

"Bring in the next subject!" The head scientist ordered.

A blue-eyed smeet stepped through the door, which whooshed shut behind him.

"State your number and age, smeet," he said.

"Subject B-45-9-A, 2 years," the smeet answered obediently.

The scientist signaled the smeet onto a platform just feet below from where he was standing. He pressed a few buttons and wires snaked out of the wall, one going into the smeet's PAK, and two more into his neck. Another press of the button, and the smeet transformed into a Vortian. The scientist gasped. He pressed a similar looking button, and the now Vortian became a Meekrob.

"Call Tallest Miyuki! She needs to see this," the scientist exclaimed into a small phone coming from his phone.

...

_Days later_

_On the Massive_

The room had been emptied of all Irken from the viewing platform except for Tallest Miyuki, the head scientist from the lab, and a few lingering guards. He stood proudly, with a remote in his hand.

"My Tallest, we at the Irken Research Facilities has perfected an invention to make Irken look like other races. If it would please you, I can show you a video taken when I was experimenting on Subject B-45-9-A." The scientist triumphantly announced.

Tallest Miyuki looked pleased, "Yes, please show me your research findings."

A video showed the wires snaking into the smeet, whose face had been blurred out to protect his identity. It showed the scientist pressing the buttons to transform the smeet into the Vortian then into the Meekrob. Tallest Miyuki was stunned.

"Do you realize what we can accomplish with this? We can use this technology to blend in with people on other planets to learn their weaknesses! We can conqueror other planets!" Tallest Miyuki smiled, "Can you make this technology portable?"

The scientist frowned, "I'm not sure. I would need some assistance and a lot of supplies."

"Whatever you need. Come, let us discuss this with the other scientists." The scientist followed Tallest Miyuki out of the main room.

...

_1 week later_

_Irken Research Facilities on Vort_

The head scientist was working on a small, circular piece of metal that had wires coming out of its back. It was entirely silver metal except for a small, red button that only slightly jutted from the metal's side. The scientist held a small laser to it and added another wire to its back.

"That should do it." he said to himself. He wrapped the metal piece in some soft paper and placed it in a containment chamber. The door to the small chamber slid shut and he stepped out of the room to speak to a fellow Irken.

He found the one he was looking for typing on a very large computer a few rooms away. Without looking up he said, "How's the prototype coming along?"

"I believe I have perfected it. I spoke with Tallest Miyuki yesterday and she requested video of the experimentation with the prototype. I need use of a viewing lab as soon as possible." the head scientist said.

The Irken on the computer said nothing but continued his work on the computer. The scientist was beginning to get impatient was he turned to him and said, "There is one available for tomorrow evening. Does that work for you?"

The head scientist pondered this for a moment. "Yes," he answered carefully, "I may even be able to make a second one by that time. I need to start right away."

He turned back to his computer. "Excellent. Anything else?"

"One last thing," the head scientist said, as he was walking out the door, "Tallest Miyuki requested that this experiment stay confidential. She doesn't want the Irken race getting too excited about a weapon that may not work."

"Yes sir. Who knows about the experiment?" he replied.

"Myself, you, Tallest Miyuki, my two lab assistants, and the few smeets we have used for experimentation. This cannot go beyond us." the scientist said.

...

_1 week later_

_The viewing room on Irk_

The video of two smeets simultaneously changing from one race to another is playing on screen. "It's completely wireless," the head scientist said from the stage. "We can control it from Irk or the Massive to any planet in the galaxy."

"How does it work?" Tallest Miyuki asked.

"The device is implanted in the Irken, and the chip in the device is always connected to the main machine, which is a small, transportable box. The different buttons on the main machine represent each race, and the unmarked buttons can be programmed for races we do not yet know of." The head scientist was beaming with pride.

"Fantastic work. You have served me well. I will meet with you soon to discuss what items you need to begin production on more of them. Dismissed!" Tallest Miyuki said.

...

_A few weeks later_

_Irken Research Facilities on Vort_

Tallest Miyuki and the head scientist were looking over a list of supplies that he needed to make many of his disguise machines.

"How are they implanted?" Tallest Miyuki inquired.

"It's a simple procedure. It's sent in through an Irken's PAK, and it goes through the PAK and attaches itself. It is, however, hard to remove without Irken technology, so any Irken off of our planet would have difficulty removing it or turning it off without our technology." the scientist explained.

From somewhere in the back, one of his assistants shouted, " Look! I made an infinite energy absorbing thingy! He's chubby!"

Tallest Miyuki and the head scientist turned around and to their horror, the monster was eating and destroying everything in its path, and growing exponentially. The head scientist screamed as the machine that controls his disguise chips was destroyed. Tallest Miyuki grabbed him and dragged him along as they ran out the door, trying to reassure him it would be okay.

The monster caught up with them and ate Tallest Miyuki. The head scientist tried to hold on to her, but she let go of him and he fell to the ground as the monster left the building, which was in shambles. He picked himself up and surveyed the damage. Nothing was left unbroken, and the only people who remained were himself and two of his assistants.

"The smeets," he whispered to himself in horror. The head scientist picked himself up and ran for the building which held the only two smeets with his technology.

...

_Minutes later_

_Experiment Room 34B_

The head scientist ran into the smeet's experiment room. The smeet's were floating in tubes that kept them healthy, fed, and protected. They looked unharmed, but one had transformed into a Vortian and the other to a race he didn't recognize. It looked strange. He shuddered to think that they could never again be Irken because of the destroyed machine. The only way to change them back was to remove the devices, but he was out of time. There was only one option left.

He looked out the window. The monster was getting closer. The head scientist set the tubes into hibernation mode, and programmed them to leave Irk. The ceiling above them opened, and the tubes flew into Vort's atmosphere. He ran from the room, towards his ship.

[A/N] Ok... probably not the most detailed thing I've ever written. But for my first chapter fanfiction, I'm pretty proud of it. Please review, but please don't flame. I'll try to have the next chapter up by Saturday. Also, the last bit took some parts from the unmade IZ episode "The Trial"


	2. Chapter 1

[A/N] It's 8 in the morning. I'm at math review. And I'm bored. So here's my attempt at my fanfic. Here we go.

Chapter 1

_Present Day_

_Earth, Zim's base_

"GIR," Zim called, "Come down to the lab!"

Within a few moments GIR came down the chute head-first, screaming something about cupcakes.

"GIR, I have perfected a new weapon that will cripple the humans by turning all of their vegetables into meat! Humans needs veggies for some reason, but now they will have none!" Zim laughed at his own genius. "Let's go test it!"

"But Master! My piggy likes bananas!" GIR cried, and shoved his rubber piggy in Zim's face, "You can't doooooo it!" GIR began to scream and cry and roll around on the floor.

"GIR. GIR!" Zim yelled. GIR didn't stop. "GIR, bananas are fruits!"

GIR immediately stopped mid-roll, all noise emmited from him ceased. "Ohhhhhhhh." GIR cooed. "I get it! Master, you're so smart!" GIR smiled.

Zim eyed the weird robot strangely. "Yes. Now come on! We must find our disguises!"

...

_Minutes later_

_Outside Dib's house_

"Now, watch as all the world's vegetables turn into MEAT!" Zim yelled towards Dib's house.

Dib walked out of his house, "What's your stupid weapon this time, Zim?" He sighed, Zim's weapons were getting more and more lame by the week.

"I have created a weapon that with the push of a button will turn all of the vegetables to MEAT! And without vegetables, human's will..." Zim paused, not knowing exactly what would happen with the lack of vegetable supply.

"Oh no, Zim. Vegetables into meat? You're sooooo evil," Dib said sarcastically. He had his arms crossed, and appeared bored. He rolled his eyes, "Give it up, Zim. You suck at making threatening weapons."

"You dare taunt the ALMIGHTY ZIM? Face the wrath of my machine!" Zim pressed a button on the machine. It lit up and began to shake. Zim smiled creepily. The machine began to power a harmless looking laser before it burst into flames and exploded.

"Wow, Zim. Great machine. Nice to see it didn't explode like your other two lasers," Dib said, while walking back towards his house, "Better luck next time."

"Grrr, that infuriating Dib-human. I wish his HEAD would explode," Zim muttered to himself. "GIR! Clean up this mess. Leave no evidence for the human's to find."

"Yes sir!" GIR saluted, going into duty mode for a moment, his eyes flashing red, and a small vacuum cleaner popped through the poorly made seam in his doggy costume.

Zim turned around and began to stomp back towards the base, muttering things about the size of Dib's large head.

...

_A few hours later_

_Zim's base_

Zim walked into his base, quickly shutting the door and removed his wig and itchy contacts. He hid them in the end table by the monkey picture. Feeling defeated, he slumped on the couch and searched for his remote. He found it in an empty Suck Monkey container. Of course it was there, what else could he expect from GIR? He turned it on, not even caring what was playing out on screen, and impatiently waited for his robot servant to return.

GIR didn't show up for almost an hour, and when he did return, he carried none of the components of the destroyed laser, but rather an almost empty Suck Monkey. "Hi Masta!" he shrieked.

"GIR, where are the laser pieces?" Zim asked angrily.

"I dunno, they was giving away Suck Monkeys at the store!" GIR smiled and held it up as if it were a trophy he'd won.

Zim stalked over to GIR and snatched the drink away from him, which caused GIR to start throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old human. "GIR, you can have this back when you bring me the pieces of the laser." He yelled, and GIR stopped shrieking for a moment. Zim turned around and began walking towards the toilet entrance to his lab.

"But... Masta! I told you I didn't remember where they was at!" GIR screamed, tears forming in his eyes, "I want my Suck Monkey!"

"If you want it badly enough, GIR, you'll remember where you put them." Zim said, disappearing down the chute.

He momentarily heard GIR screaming, then the front door slamming shut. Good, he was finally listening to him for once.

Settling in his chair, he announced, "Computer! Show me the blueprints to my vegetable... meat machine! My plans were ingenious! It shouldn't have exploded!"

The computer groaned before saying, "Yes it should've," it complained, "Your plans were horrible. First off, you-"

"SILENCE! Zim did not ask your opinion! Show me the plans!" Zim yelled.

"Have it your way," the computer groaned. The plans showed up on screen.

"I think I see the problem!" Zim announced happily. 

The plans disappeared from screen, and it was entirely black except for the red flashing irken symbol in the middle.

"The Tallest!" Zim smiled. He pressed a button and his leaders showed up on the screen. "Greetings, My Tallest. What can Zim do for you?" Zim asked excitedly.

"Uh, hello Zim." Tallest Red said, awkwardly. "We have a question of the utmost importance to ask of you."

"Anything, My Tallest." Zim said, looking far too eager to please them.

"You worked alongside our head scientist and Tallest Miyuki on an Irken Cloaking Device a few years ago, yes?" Tallest Red asked, choosing his words carefully.

Zim pondered for a moment. He barely remembered his time working on Vort, just that he ended up getting Tallest Miyuki eaten by his energy-absorbing... thingy. He vaguely remembered watching the head scientist construct the box that controlled the cloaking devices. "Yes, My Tallest, although that was many years ago. Zim doesn't remember so well."

Tallest Purple had his mouth stuffed with a burrito when he muffled, "Do you remember _anything_ about the experiment?"

"Why is this of any relevance now? And how do you know about it? Tallest Miyuki requested that the experiment had been kept confidential." Zim questioned, not quite understanding what they wanted.

"Zim, if we had access to the technology, do you know what we could accomplish? Invaders could better blend in with the native life. We could conquer the universe with almost no problems. The only problem is the scientist in charge disappeared after the incident with a monster of unknown origin attacking Vort, and before disappearing, shot the only two prototypes into space. We could never locate the smeets. All that's left are his two assistants, one of which being you, Zim." Tallest Red explained. He'd wanted nothing to do with Zim ever again after Operation Impending Doom I, but it seemed fate kept finding ways to include Zim in _everything_.

"Ok," Zim said, concentrating on what Red had said. "First, you didn't explain how you found this information, and I thought there was one more involved in the project." He rubbed his temples, trying to remember.

"Another Irken?" Purple asked, his burrito long finished by now.

"Do you know who it was?" Red asked.

"I'm not sure of his name. It was the Irken who always worked on the computer in the Vortian labs while we worked. I think he had pink eyes," Zim paused. "Perhaps a document from the times we worked would have his name on them?" He suggested.

"That's not a bad idea, Zim. We'll have someone get working on it immediately." Red said. He considered maybe Zim might not be as bad as he originally thought, but he would probably be proved wrong by a later action of Zim.

"That's all for now, Zim. We'll be calling soon for any information you may have on the designs of his cloaking device. In the mean time, see if you can search your PAK for any memories you may have forgotten." Red added.

"Certainly, My Tallest." Zim saluted. The transmission ended.

GIR came shooting down the chute with a ball of mangled up metal pieces and wires. "I FOUND THEM!" he shrieked. "Where's my Suck Monkey?"

Zim pointed with one of his clawed fingers to a place near the computer. GIR dropped everything with a floor shaking crash, and ran to retrieve his drink. He sucked on it loudly, smiling. Zim began moving the pieces into a chute that ran father down into the base.

"Come, GIR. We have order's from the Tallest to attend to." Zim said, walking with his hands grasped behind his back. He walked into a nearby elevator/chute that led to the room where he normally re-charged his PAK. He waited patiently for the now robot form GIR to slide into the elevator. The doors slid shut.

[A/N] Yeah! The Tallest need Zim! I'm getting excited to write the next few chapters. Very exciting. Oh yeah, Dib begins to take a role soon. Almost no ZADF till the end though, so you guys gotta stick around for that! Please comment and tell me what you think! I want to know I'm not just writing this for me and that people are actually reading. Thanks! ~Invader Kia


	3. Chapter 2

[A/N] Thanks Wings Eternal, and the people who subscribed and favorited, I was honestly considering giving this up. Imma keep going. On to Chapter 2!

Chapter 2

_Next Day_

_Dib's House_

"Gaz! Where's the cereal?" Dib called from the kitchen.

"I ate it!" She called back, tauntingly.

"Come on, Gaz. There was like, a whole half a box left. You ate it all?" Dib complained, walking into the living room. As always, Gaz was on the couch, playing Vampire Piggys on her Game Slave.

She pulled her gaze away from her game for five seconds, "Yeah. You got a _problem_ with that?" she snarled. "It's _my_ cereal too." she looked back at her game and began mashing the buttons, obviously at some boss level, or something.

Dib rolled his eyes, in no mood to fight with Gaz this morning. "Fine. I'll eat toast for breakfast." he growled, and he started back for the kitchen.

"Make me some too!" Gaz called.

"In your dreams." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" she called, accusingly.

"Uhh, n-nothing!" he stammered, and started to make two servings of toast. What? Even Dib knew not to mess with Gaz when she wanted something.

...

_About an hour later _

_Dib's room_

Dib was sitting at his computer desk, watching the feeds trained on Zim's house. He placed them there a few years ago, not too long after Zim had arrived on Earth. The cameras were relatively small, placed on a house across the street from his base. Well, Zim never noticed them, anyway.

He sighed, and leaned hs head down onto his fist. Zim was doing nothing, again. In the small opening of the window GIR had once again left open, he could plainly see Zim on his couch, drinking a soda and watching TV. The Irken was seeming to be less and less of a threat. It had been almost 4 years since he'd gotten to Earth, and what had he accomplished? Almost nothing. Dib turned off the computer and put his head down over his folded arms.

After a few minutes, he had an idea. Zim seemed unprotected and unaware. What if he were to sneak over and say, find a way to sneak a camera into the underground base? But, with Zim not doing much lately, he couldn't really create much evidence to present to anyone, much less the Swollen Eyeballs. He remembered the incident with the spy cameras in Zim's kitchen. All he'd proved was Zim ate waffles. _That_ did nothing but almost get him kicked out of the Eyeballs.

"I have an idea!" Dib said out loud, to himself. "I could provoke him! Maybe taunt him into making a new weapon so I'll have some recorded evidence! Why I am I saying this out loud?" he thought aloud.

First, he needed to find a way to get a camera into the base. Which involved getting into the base, which meant finding a way past the gnome field. He pulled up the camera feeds on screen again. Dib estimated each gnome had a 6 foot visual field, unless provoked with a vocal command by Zim. He used this measurement to create a pathway into the base.

He was starting to conduct a plan to get downstairs when Zim's door opened, revealing a poorly disguised Zim(as always) with GIR in his poorly made doggy costume on a leash. Zim's wig moved slightly, and Dib could only guess that was the result of one of his antennae twitching. Zim looked up at the small camera, as if he could sense it presence.

"Dammit." Dib cursed softly under his breath. Zim only shrugged and began walking down the cement path. "Zim must not have noticed the cameras." Dib said quietly, as if he spoke any louder Zim would hear him.

Dib couldn't figure out why Zim was leaving. Hi-Skool had let out for the summer, and according to Zim, the Sun was "booby-trapped", so any reason Zim had to go out on such a nice day was beyond him. Zim looked pissed, and looked to be ranting to himself, but Dib constantly saw that.

He decided to take advantage of avoiding a confrontation with Zim. He finished his plans and locked his computer, shutting it off.

Packing a small bags of things he needed, including the spy camera, his cell phone, and a small weapon he'd once managed to swipe from GIR once when Zim wasn't home, he snuck down the stairs.

When he made it to the living room, it was unusually dark for such a bright day. The blinds had been closed, and the lights were off. As he opened the front door, the light from outside illuminated Professor Membrane's figure in the chair beside the door.

Dib jumped. "Uh, Dad! What are you doing home?"

"Son, where are you off to on such a nice day?" He replied, completely ignoring Dib's question.

He tried to think up a lie, as Membrane had forbidden Dib to chase Zim anymore. Dib tried to do it in secret, but his dad was pretty smart. "Uh..." Dib said, looking up at the ceiling.

"You had better not be after your foreign friend again." Professor Membrane said, sternly.

"Zim? No. That's not what I'm doing." Dib lied. "I'm... uh..."

"Son, you are 16 years old. You two need to stop with this game. It's gotten out of hand. I forbid you to follow him around. It gives the wrong impression to people." he said.

"I'm not going to stop!" Dib exclaimed, suddenly finding courage he didn't know he had. "Not until you believe me!" He ran out the door and slammed it behind him.

He didn't stop running until he was well away from his house. His dad just didn't understand how this wasn't a game, mankind could be at stake here! And while Zim didn't seem to be a threat at this point in time, what was to stop him from getting stronger? Without any proof, the only thing standing between the Irken race and world domination was one 16 year old boy.

His thoughts were interrupted by something biting into the back of his neck. He smacked it, "Stupid bugs." he mumbled. The spot has already swelled, and it hurt. Dib rubbed his neck and walked until Zim's base came into view.

Getting past the gnome field and into Zim's base was pretty easy. Zim really needed to up the security if it would ever be considered a major threat. To anyone. The problem was actually getting down below Zim's facade of a living room. Dib knew only the one entrance Zim had shown him after the incident with Tak, the toilet in the middle of the kitchen. However, it was broken, probably because of another malfunction of GIR's.

Maybe that's where Zim went. To get a new toilet, maybe? Either way, he didn't have much time, Zim could be home at any moment, and there had to be another way down.

After thoroughly checking the living room, under the couch, behind the tv, etc., he went in the kitchen again. He checked in the fridge, sink, and hell, he even checked under the toaster, with no luck. He noticed the garbage can beside the sink was, well, a little on the large side. He pressed his foot down on the black foot pedal, and it opened, and he couldn't even see the bottom. Yes! Dib had finally found a way down.

After glancing around, he went down the chute feet-first, crushing his ankles when he hit the bottom. He resisted the urge to cry out in pain, remembering where he was. Looking around, Dib wondered how well Zim's underground security was compared to the aboveground security system.

He limped around, looking at his different experiments, including one he assumed was human, someone floating in a tube labeled "Nick". He cringed, not wanting to know who he was or how long he'd been in Zim's base.

There was a massive computer up against the wall, with three keyboards. The monitor was a few feet off the floor. Keys that were written in something other than English, and probably including Irken, made up most of the keyboards. The chair was relatively tiny, but it probably fit Zim just fine.

He remembered what he needed to do. He swung the bag around from his shoulder and began shuffling through it, until he found the small camera.

There wasn't much space to hide the camera, so he tried tucking it in among the wires that were jutting from the walls.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" the computer began announcing. Two robot arms shot of either wall and grabbed Dib's legs, and flipped him upside down. Dib cursed himself for not seeing this coming. All he could do now was wait for Zim to return. He sighed.

...

_A few minutes later_

_Still down in the base_

Zim was going down the chute that led down to the base from the garbage can. Upon his toilet retrieval mission, he'd received an alert that an intruder had been detected and captured. He only had one guess as to who that would be.

"Hello, Dib-worm." Zim said, stepping out of the chute, unharmed. Dib didn't respond, and his face was awfully red. Zim was surprised. Humans never lasted that long hanging upside down, alive anyway. He didn't want The Dib dead, yet.

"Computer, drop him." Zim commanded. Dib fell on his face, and groaned. He waited patiently, surprisingly, as Dib stood up, passed out for a second, and stood up again to try to compose himself. "Computer, locate the foreign object in the wiring." Dib's tiny camera fell to the floor out of the wiring. Zim smirked at it.

"Clever, Dib. A spy camera? Nice try." Zim said, gloating. He picked it up, and flicked it at Dib, who looked like he wanted to vomit.

"What do you want, Zim?" Dib said. He sounded drunk, and blinked a few times. He started coming out of his haze. Again feeling confident, he started to walk over to where he left his bag.

"I have something I want to test on you, Dib. It's a new weapon I designed to melt human skin while keeping the human alive." He narrowed his eyes and smiled, evilly.

Dib stopped. He did not want to stick around to see if that one worked. "No thanks." Dib said, and started running back towards the garbage can chute. Zim's spider legs extended from his PAK and he went after him. Zim managed to get a sharp leg hooked through Dib's trenchcoat and shirt. He tugged back on the clothes, and Dib bent back, completely leaving his top clothes behind. There was a small cut in his back, and Zim saw the blood trickling down Dib's back. He made it to the elevator, and went up.

Zim decided not to pursue him, he had too much of a mess to repair down in the base. "Stupid, big-headed Dib." he muttered to himself as he retracted his spider legs. "Computer, was anything too badly damaged?"

...

_About the same time_

_On the sidewalk_

Dib was running as fast as his injured legs could carry him, not even bothering to look behind him to see if Zim was giving chase. He got home before he even turned around. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. "That's weird," he said to no one. He fished his house key out of his pocket, and tried to put it in the lock. It didn't fit. "That's even weirder." Dib said, rubbing the back of his slightly swollen neck. He was confused.

One of the windows above the door opened, and Professor Membrane stuck his head out. He looked so pissed, it seemed he didn't even notice Dib wasn't wearing a shirt. "I will not tolerate a child who does not respect my rules. Therefore, you will no longer live under my roof." He disappeared for a moment, then two suitcases flew out the window, one of which hit Dib in the head, knocking him over. "There are your things. Come back when you are done playing your game with your foreign friend." he said.

"Dad!" Dib yelled back, "You can't kick me out of the house! I'm only 16!" The window slid shut.

"Shit." Dib whispered. "Shit. Shit. Shit." He sat down on one of the suitcases and put his head in his hands. Who could he possibly stay with? No one liked him. He had no money. If he went to the police station, Professor Membrane would probably come up with a totally logical and legal excuse why Dib could no longer stay in the house.

There was only one option, and he hated he even had to consider it. Well, he could always become a hobo... No, no. He had to do it.

He began the long trek down the cement sidewalk, lugging the two heavy suitcases, not even bothering to see what his dad had packed.

Coming upon a house, he slipped up the walkway. He knocked a few times on the door, after a few moments it opened. Dib wouldn't even look up. "Zim, I need a place to stay for a while. Can I stay here?"

[A/N] Ok, this took me HOURS to write. It's hot, and it's almost 1 in the morning. You people are lucky I finished this! I'm bitchy right now, so I'm posting this and going to bed. I'll edit it tomorrow.

Anyway, YAY! Sorry I abused Dib so much in this chapter. I love him too, and it hurt me to hurt him so much, but it needed to be done. Read and Review :D


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